Addiction is ridiculous.
Honestly, what is up with these substitutes I cave to? Full disclosure, I've been using cigarettes as a crutch to get me through early sobriety. I am so sensitive to cigarettes that I can only smoke two a day (three at the very most), not even the entire cigarette and I feel so toxed out, my brain is foggy and I my body feels heavy laden (with toxins). Yes, even the organic brand with no added chemicals (or so they say).
Thank god, I'm a lightweight. How people ever smoked a pack a day is beyond me. It's a cumulative effect and the more days I smoke, the worse my skin looks.
If I weren't so brain fogged, I would wax on about the hand to mouth routine and the stuff anything but alcohol into my pie hole to keep alcohol from going in. All of that habitual action is part of the addiction. I know that I'll drop the cigarettes very, very soon because I actually can't stand them.
That's what's so ridiculous about addiction. Why put something into your system that you know is bad for you and that you want to quit?
Of course there's loads of science now that answers just that very question. It's a battle between the lower brain, the body trained by the lower brain and the physical set of habits so strengthened by practice that they override the pre-frontal cortex. It's more complicated than that and involves dopamine, oxytocin, neurotransmitters and things like not bonding with mother right off the bat because of things we never had control over. Fascinating, complex, ridiculous, challenging.
Aside from nutritional support, comrades going through similar journeys, meditation, physical activity, development of self-awareness and other things, strengthening the pre-frontal cortex is where it's at.
The pre-frontal cortex is the seat of impulse control. Impulse control is the key and the trick is to put that pre-frontal cortex in charge of the body as in the hand reaching for the drink or the cigarette or the cookie.
That's the key but, of course, there's much more to it than that. The question is how badly do you want it? How strongly do you want to feel healthy and radiant? What are you willing to do to help your pre-frontal cortex win out over muscle memory? How long are you going to play the game of self-sabotage?
Those are questions you can sit with. I'm sitting with them, too.
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