Find the focus and strength to start working on your project again.
Mercury is in retrograde. I don't mind because I love periods of rest and self-reflection. Actually, I need these periods of rest and self-reflection.
But I've been through a long stint of rest and self-reflection which was sorely needed and now, I am making my way, slowly, back to the surface of doing work again. It's a challenge to set up a new schedule and to stick to the program even though I am right at the very beginnings. At least it feels that way. In fact, I have the general structure in place and at this time, it's about writing, researching, reaching out and taking baby steps. I like to leap tall buildings in a single bound but am old and experienced enough to know that what looks like a single bound is a process that includes many, many baby steps.
I started Mercury retrograde by dropping my iPhone in the toilet. After fishing around for what seemed like forever, I finally pulled it out and fortunately there was no real water damage, just a loss of sound as the thing dried out. Lucky!
Today, I wrote a long post here only to have my finger swipe the touch pad of my laptop sending the words into the ether. Oh, well. Begin again.
In a nutshell, I am dealing with a difficult client who is, frankly, abusive. I have 22 days left of this assignment and am determined to not let her get the best of me and to keep my head above water. However, this morning I woke to a set of nasty emails and messages. It took me a couple of hours of self-coaching and a good, long walk to rearrange my attitude and then I was met with a splattered mind when I just wanted to get down to work. So I pulled out one of my Tarot decks and did a reading.
Eventually, I intend to make regular Tarot readings a part of this overall project but not yet.
I am sharing all of this with you because you may find my situation familiar in some way and the enlightenment I gleaned of help.
I do not look to Tarot readings for predictive answers but rather as a way of helping me communicate with my higher self or with the collective unconscious. I consider the Tarot to be my wiser, higher friend connected to source and the enlightenment that is sometimes (often) not clear as I flail about on the material plane.
Today, I asked for help with finding the focus and strength to start working on building this project again. If you work for yourself or ever find yourself in the weeds when you need to buckle down again, this reading is for you, too.
Here's the query: Help me find the focus and strength to start working on building this project again.
Here's my interpretation:
These five cards from left to right represent — One: your situation, Two: your thoughts and expectations, Three: hidden forces, Four: guidance, and Five: the outcome.
Let's examine the above cards, then, based on this set up.
XIX The Sun. Find your focus and strength within yourself. It's there and it's big and bright and full of joy. Tap into it!
The Five of Pentacles. Your thoughts and expectations are inhibiting you. You have a serious lack mentality that includes lack of self-worth, fear of failing completely, victim mentality. All you have to do is to look within (the stained glass windows) to find the bright joy, focus and strength that lies within (the church). Get over your victim and lack mentality and find the light within.
The Queen of Cups. You are overwhelmed with emotion. You have come far and reached the status of queen but you are dwelling on your emotions and they are running away with you (and your focus and your strength). Turn away from your focus on emotion and get a grip!
The Three of Cups. Find your emotional joy. It's there. Look at your overall situation and your life so far. Look at what you've experienced and accomplished and celebrate. Joy is the emotion to find in the cup of the Queen. Use it. Keep that lovely yellowy sun color in your mind and let it light up your solar plexus chakra. That's where your power resides.
I The Magician. There it is! Work your way through these challenges of perceiving yourself through your ego. The challenge is merely temporary. The game is long. You have all of the tools you need to make magic happen. So get to it! You don't need the gift of an Ace. You ARE the ace.
I couldn't ask for a better reading. I love the Tarot and I do look forward to sharing my readings with you on a regular basis eventually. I hope that this helped you. Leave a comment below to let me know if it has.
Love and light. Till the next post...
Honestly, it's really great to have some project or to create some project for yourself in early sobriety. Work off your early days creatively.
I've had the fortune of a painting commission. I've been working at it for about four or five days interrupted by two teaching days. I think that it's complete now but I'm going to sleep on it.
I'm happy with it and grateful for the project. If you're in early sobriety and biting your nails or something, make a list of everything you could do. Draw, sing, make up a song, make up a dance, knit, leaf through a Martha Stewart Living magazine if your imagination is not in gear. Cook some great meal just for fun. Practice an instrument.
Get involved with a creative project for the sake of doing the thing not to be great at it. This is definitely not the time to be saying that you're no good at anything. Who cares? It takes a gazillion hours of practice to get good at something. Just start for the fun of it.
Pick up a pencil or pen and start making marks on a piece of paper. The marks don't have to look like anything at all. Start a doodle diary. There's an idea.
Watch your crazy thinking evaporate and your energy flow into making something. It's a good thing.
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